$#*(^%@#^& winter

by humanmama on April 1, 2011

GD winter! (Gol’ Durn.)

Sorry. It’s just…just that… Well, the other WEEK when it was 70 degrees I realized it might be time to move, because I’m really not sure why all the people who live in the North actually still do that: live in the NORTH. What the–there are places like Hawaii out there and we live here. In Pittsburgh. Or maybe Michigan, or Wisconsin, or Illinois, or other equally cold-in-the-winter type places.

And I know you’re thinking: “Hawaii is EXPENSIVE! You wouldn’t even want to live there!” But you’re wrong. If we all lived there they’d have to lower their prices. And besides, that’s just what they want you to believe. The residents of Hawaii.

Anyway, you can tell I’m not alone here since when it’s 65 degrees and sunny there is an absolute frickin’ Rodgers and Hammerstein musical playing out in the street: people are holding doors open, singing “how do you doooo?” and clicking their heels together. Seriously. As soon as it SNOWED the BLIZZARD that happened AGAIN this morning, people went back to being craggy cave monsters. I live across from the post office and you can hear people shouting, beeping, flicking each other off. It’s statewide Seasonal Affected Depression Disorder, and man, is it sad.

We should all go in on a great vacation together, somewhere warm. It’s spring in the Bahamas, I bet. And Aruba? Isn’t that where happiness lives? Hmm. Sounds like a nice place. I just want to play outside without a jacket, to stuff children in their carseats with only t-shirts and shorts on. Oh, well. In the meantime we’ll all tough it out together. It’s what we do every year. Invite the neighbors over, have some wine. Anyway, it’ll be spring soon, so they say.

Actually, they say it is spring, right now. But “they” probably live in Hawaii.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Corey April 9, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Love it! And so true!


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