toys for sale!

by humanmama on July 21, 2011

Well, I need to clean things out, again. It’s so funny to think about it now, but when Helena was first born 5 years ago, I actually thought “when do babies need toys? How will I know?” I really did. And don’t worry–the toys took care of themselves, breeding and reproducing with a vengeance. If I look through all the toys we have (more toys than could satisfy the wants of the children of the entire nation of Darfur, I’m afraid), I can really only remember buying 10 or 12 of them. Which means that either 1) they really do reproduce, or 2) someone in my family is trying to drive me crazy by buying my children more toys. I’m pretty sure it’s #2, but #1 is a remote possibility.

So I’ll show you a sample of the toys that are going. And some of the things that’ll stick around for a while.

Staying: My little bookwormanything bookish, and all children who read books.






"imaginitive play trove" Staying: all dress up clothes that are not too tattered. Notice bunny ears, a hard hat, and princess dresses? We are diverse. Anything that promotes imagination is good.





Going: Anything sexy. This is after much thought and inner debate. Imagination is good. Things with real boobs are really not necessary for normal development. Really! I checked. Pekaboobie Ariel is one toy that I feel the children will be able to enter into the workforce without experiencing. Those “shells” will just NOT STAY UP. And why, pray tell, are they not painted on like they are in the movie?



Staying: cowgirl from dollhouse set that is very properly dressed (as in “dressed for riding, not “dressed like a little lady”). Going: “Riding Barbie” that my Nana had for the girls last time we visited, with the top that AGAIN will not stay closed. Is it too much to say that she is always riding bareback?



Going: Barbies. Seriously, I have been wondering for years why I didn’t want my children to play with Barbies. I didn’t have them and I always wanted them, so it figures that I would buy them for my kids. But I just didn’t want them to play with Barbies. A friend of mine put it best when she wrote that Barbies always end up naked. It’s so true. And who knows why? Just natural curiosity. And while I think the human body is great and wonderful and amazing (definitely!), I do not feel that I need my kids to play with little naked adults in order to teach them anything about it at all. The best part: they won’t be worse off without Barbies. I swear!


Staying: anything tool-y. Once we had a little boy over who said “where are all your superheroes?” I said immediately “Helena’s a girl, she’s not really in to superheroes. Girls like…” and here I looked around the room, “…Tools.” We have a lot of tools, since Carpenter works with tools, and we also have a lot of tools because tools are awesome and make noise and are fun and can build and destroy. Unlike Barbie, who can only destroy. Ha, ha, just kidding. (Note: girls can also like superheroes. Just at the time, not my girls.)



Going: Anything with shoes sexier than Mommy’s shoes.





Staying: these two little dollies I found among the toys. Aren’t they sweet?

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Dana July 21, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Love this! I don’t think they’ll miss the Barbies either…you know, she really should be crawling around on all fours. :)


aj July 21, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Because she’s naughty or because her feet are ruined from the shoes?! Hee hee


katie July 22, 2011 at 4:44 pm

you are hilarious! and i must say great choices.


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