by humanmama on December 8, 2011

I’m tired.

So, exhaustively, unbelievably tired. Carpenter is working every day. ‘Til so late. I have the kids by myself from sunup ’til bedtime all week lately and and sometimes on weekends too. Actually no, he was here Sunday night and then Wednesday, so they only really didn’t see him for 72 hours. Then he’ll be home Friday, so that’s only 48.

I’m beginning to feel like Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles. If you don’t know this rich cultural reference, feel free to Google it, or just go rent the movie. Prepare to be insulted and also to laugh. This is probably the tamest quote from that song:

I’m tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain’t it a crying shame
I’m so tired

Ahem, I’ll let you discover the rest.

Anyway, I hearken back, at these times, to the phase of life where I didn’t have children yet. Perhaps this blog finds you there, pre-children. Or perhaps you can just remember, vaguely, in the cobwebby corners of your mind, the times before children. And let me totally belittle you non-children people for just a minute, with all due respect. No matter how much you have to do in your life, no matter the deadlines, no matter the urgency: you have inordinate amounts of time. Enjoy it. It’s not an insult: it’s a true statement of jealous envy. When I moved to Pittsburgh and had a job and had a house (a rental house) and then married, and moved to a house we owned, and got a dog, we always would complain:

we’re so busy all the time!

Guess what? We weren’t. It’s simply the principle of adding. Feel like there’s not enough time in the day? Well, just take the time you have now, and add something else major to it. There! Now! See how much time you used to have?! It’s just like that with kids, except that they are every second of every day and you can never escape them.

[Um, also, you love them, so it’s great! Not to get you down, pregnant people.]

Children are so all consuming. I know many people to equate their kids to their pets, especially before they have children. “Well, how much different can it be from raising little Muffins the cat? She’s a real handful! You can never leave her alone!” Except that, you see, you can. At least, even if it’s bad for your furniture, it’s legal. Leaving a baby alone for a while is bad for your furniture and illegal.

I’d like to go down the path of righteousness here and say it’s all worth it in the end, and that they are such amazing and incredible bundles of joy that reflect such a perfect crystal teardrop of peace and love that it is almost like what looking into the very face of God and Eternity must be. I’d like to.

But I’m too tired.

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Kristin December 9, 2011 at 6:15 am

Oh girl, you speak the truth! I slept for 6 hours in a row last night (yes…in a row…no interruptions…it was amazing) and it felt like two hours. I do, however, get to go to work each day and even though I spend my time there teaching other people’s children, it feels like a bit of relief because I actually feel competent the vast majority of the time. Not so with my own children (especially that 3 year old of mine who is wicked smart). I don’t know how you do it all day. Major props!


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