this too

by humanmama on January 14, 2013

It will pass. This time of aching, and exhaustion. This time–it never ends sometimes. But it will end. One day it won’t be like this.

One day you’ll wear clothes. Clothes, not like just workout clothes or things without spitup or holes. Clothes with buttons ans zippers and snaps, not just elastic waistbands. You’ll fit into clothes again, too, and it’ll come off naturally, that baby weight, naturally because you’re eating right and also exercising. You’ll have time to exercise. Or maybe you do now, too, but something suffers, now, some part of your schedule has to give, and one day you’ll be able to do your whole to-do list without stopping.

You’ll wash and brush and comb and primp one day, again, too, and you’ll use hairspray maybe, or product, on a regular basis again. One day. Maybe makeup, if you like. Or not. But you won’t get through an entire day only to see you’ve been wearing a booger stripe or a poop explosion remnant or a spitup spill on your shirt since 8am.

One day you’ll be wearing actual pinstripes, not just stripes of boogers, or rice cereal, or pasta sauce. One day all their clothes and all your clothes won’t be filthy every single day and you won’t have 8 loads of laundry in a week. Or 12. Or 15. You’ll have a “laundry day” instead of a “laundry week” and you can have them put their own things away. And imagine how much extra time that would free up in your schedule! Time to work out, maybe.

One day you’ll have a gym membership. Or a hobby. No, no, I mean a hobby that you’re actually doing. You won’t forget how to read, I promise. Or ride a bike (you never do). You might look back and wonder how you taught others to ride, what, with all the running and holding on, but you won’t forget and neither will they. All the holding, holding on, holding something, MOMMY CAN YOU HOLLLLLD THISSSS PLEEEEASE? Your back, and neck, and temples will stop aching–or they’ll ache for different reasons. Reasons of your own doing.

One day you’ll go shopping and stop briefly at the baby clothes, thinking, “what am I here for again?” before remembering that it’s not that. One day your car won’t have carseats and be littered with crumbs like Hansel and Gretel are trying to find their way back. One day you’ll get a carwash and not have to wipe handprints off of the inside of the car. Or not wipe them off and just look at them every time the light hits them just so. One day your house and your car and your clothes will be so clean, someone you know will see you and say:

“Oh my gosh! Is that you?! You look GREAT!

And you will. One day.

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Christine January 15, 2013 at 9:32 pm

Hey! I love to surround myself with friends that have kiddos, but have started eating lunch with a woman who is divorced and her girls are in college…while I don’t envy that, I have a hard time when she complains about whether she should go to the gym and am totally jealous she can eat salad or cereal for dinner, no cooking! I will take my screaming, food throwing, food complaining kids and crazy life. But I wish I could go to the gym! AND you do look great, by the way! Love and miss ya!!

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