the mom poem

by humanmama on April 18, 2013

“We all woke up too late!” I scream,
and then rushed to get dressed
My middle one won’t eat today,
The oldest has a test

I drove them all to school and I
forgot the carpool kid
Oh SHOOT! I yell, (but you you all know
I wanted to say SHIIIIT!)

It’s picture day! It’s library!
The book orders are due!
I look over and see the snow
And they aren’t wearing shoes

“You had a bath!” I yelled today
when they all played outside
I didn’t realize how many places
those smears of mud could hide!

In 50% of photos
My kids all pick their nose
The other half is mostly me
yelling “where’s your clothes??!”

I haven’t seen my spouse in weeks
and when we get in bed
we’re both asleep before the pillows
even touch our heads

My youngest kid is teething
and my middle one’s a mess
We’ve been in church an hour when
I notice the princess dress

I really need a haircut and
I want to join a gym
With all these kids what are my chances
of even getting in?!

I hugged my oldest girl today
two blocks away from school
(I didn’t want to hurt her chance
of ever being cool)

I drove tonight, all by myself,
to the local grocery store
It seemed so nice and quiet
(it was hardly like a chore)

My baby has a fever and the oldest has the flu
I’ve had such a small amount of sleep this week I don’t know what to do
I’m coated now with throw-up and there’s breastmilk in my hair
But hey! At least today I remembered to wear underwear!

There’s sixteen loads of laundry and
the dishwasher’s on the fritz
ALL my kids are CRANKY and
Their mother is a ditz

That mom at school looks so together
She looks good every day!!
When I pick up my kids after school
People ask me if I’m okay

I don’t need a fancy cake or card
I just want a little rest
(but….some chocolate, wine, and alone time
is really second best!)

When all these years are past me
I’m sure I’ll reminisce
But taking a pee with a kid on my knee
is not something I’ll miss.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Melissa April 18, 2013 at 10:23 am

“I drove tonight, all by myself/to the local grocery store/It seemed so nice and quiet/(it was hardly like a chore)”

YES

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Holly April 25, 2013 at 9:20 pm

Love. :)

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