by humanmama on January 7, 2014

This is a hard time of year for people who have body issues. And of course I mean all adults. There have been a few people, here and there, who don’t think a lot about their weight, or strength, or endurance, or appearance. But those folks are like unicorns; few and far-between. (And possibly mythical.)

I would love to pretend I don’t ever think about those things, too, but you either know me or read this or both and so you know that I always, always wish to be thinner, younger, healthier, stronger, and have more endurance. I feel that admitting this makes me both human and also honest. Really, though, I like my age, smack in the middle of my 30’s. I feel like I’m getting smarter every year, balancing reality and cynicism. Trying to still be really positive while losing a lot of that naïveté. I love being here, as in right-inside-this-life here, since I really did always dream about having kids, and a family, and a dog, and a house. strong rosie

And that’s what I think about when I feel gross. Or fat. Or ugly, or aging, or just not strong. I try hard to think about what I do have. I think of my friend Emily with cancer, and my friend Lynn with cancer. We all went to high school together. I’ve been working out pretty seriously (like, more seriously than I ever have in my life, which means more than just 20 minutes on the treadmill). And it is actually making me stronger mentally and physically–obviously I feel like my big huge baby is easier to carry after all those dumbbell curls, but I also feel the way they feel in movies, yeah, I got this. Very unbelievable and radioactive and mama-said-knock-you-OUT. I picture Lynn and Emily’s cancer cells, and me shadow-boxing the life out of those cells, until they’re perfectly well and never have to suffer again.

Yeah, maybe there are more important things to think about than getting thinner and younger. Let’s get stronger together, okay?


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