peas on earth

by humanmama on November 7, 2006

Remember to vote today! It’s election day–mid-term election day–so go out and vote and make sure you do…only about 40% of people usually turn out for mid-terms. In other very important news, we began to eat this week! Okay, by “we” I mean Helena (I am obviously having no problem with eating, as I still have those last 10 to lose after having her)and by “eat” I mean “diving after the spoon like it’s her last meal and yet not managing to actually get the food into her mouth.”

Feeding a 5-month-old her repertoire of peas, rice cereal, applesauce, mashed bananas, or squash (the foods she has tried to date) is like tying your shoe on a roller coaster. First, it’s nearly impossible to do it right, and second, the whole time you’re wondering if it even needs to be done. Of course her food will not fall out of her mouth onto a bystander’s head and kill them, but you see the similarity.

I strongly believe, after 5 months, that given the choice Helena would, if I would let her, happily eat breastmilk for the rest of her life. I can actually picture her graduating from high school, smiling for photos, and then sidling up to me, saying “Okay, mom, time for lunch!” Of course this would be terribly inappropriate (I am under the impression that if they can ask for it, they’re probably too old for it) but that’s just my opinion. Actually, after this long, the whole thing is just so much easier anyway–nothing to prepare, nothing to mix, nothing to heat up, just find a comfy spot and whip it out. As long as there are no men in the room, who become suddenly either totally transfixed or totally horrified, as if I had just said “mind if I do a pole dance in my living room?”

Not only is breastfeeding easier (for me, this is NOT true for all mommies so don’t even read this and then yell at someone who isn’t doing it…I’m under the impression that mothers should always know better than to say what’s “right” and what’s “wrong” regarding someone else’s child and/or life), but it’s kind-of soothing. Yes, that’s right. After the entire lifetime of my child spent complaining about how I’m the only one that can feed her (she HATES bottles…read: she asphyxiates herself on a bottle while choking and screaming bloody murder), I suddenly kind of like that tag. It makes me feel pretty damn special, like, okay not only can I birth this miracle, but I am also able to nourish her with my own body. Pretty amazing.

Today on TV there was this newsflash (what is this country becoming??) where a baby from Sweden was laughing his head off at his daddy off camera, and this was like the number 1 “YouTube” video of the day. Anyway, I was at first annoyed, like, this is election day, people, don’t we have something else to talk about? But after seeing this little guy (and, by the way, so super cute) I realized: isn’t that just what this world needs? Don’t you wish that instead of going to war or hurting the environment, the politicians out there actually cared about families, about little kids laughing and playing? If only I could let the Vice President [Dick Cheney] sit down with Helena and try to feed her, maybe he’d loosen up a little, get a little kinder… Stop shooting people…

Yeah, I think she could really bring some peace to this nation. If not today, don’t worry, I’m already grooming her to be president in 2048. Just remember to vote for her.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Thumbprint Cookie Recipe April 11, 2011 at 2:35 am

Very good article. Looking forward to seeing you write more articles about this topic.


William Levers April 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Thank you for this interesting article. I will be sure to get the word out about this on my site :) Outstanding! Can’t wait to read next article.


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