not really thankful

by humanmama on June 18, 2012

It’s 36 or 37-something weeks into the longest pregnancy on record! Just kidding. Actually things are going right on schedule, and I’m not sure why this one seems like it’s taking so long. Maybe because it would be so much easier if I could tie my shoes.

Things I can do: shave my legs (barely). Clean up the house (until about 3pm, and then it feels like I’m gonna hurl every time I bend over). Take care of the kids (but with less patience). Babysit my friends’ kids (granted, with less “flair” now than in September when my house was clean all the time and we made homemade playdough and cookies on a daily basis…).

Things I can’t do: lift a 50-lb. bag of sand from the parking pad to the sandbox, and it’s only about 100 feet. I know this one from experience. I can’t really paint my toenails anymore. I can’t stand going to sleep, even though I’m tired ALL. THE. TIME. because I wake up 4 times per night at the minimum to pee, eat, and just for no apparent reason at all. I might as well make bottles of formula just in case since I’m sure I won’t have the time later.

Things I do know: I’ll try nursing again, even though it didn’t work very well with Lilly. I’ll try co-sleeping again, HA! Just kidding. I want to sleep by myself so much I often find myself lately dreaming that we had 2 twin beds in our room, Desi-and-Lucy style, instead of a Queen bed.

I won’t worry as much, as all my friends with 3-or-MORE kids really seem to not worry as much–at least, not about the schedule stuff, and the sleeping (or lack of), and all the milestones. It seems once you’re on #3, you know that they will crawl and walk eventually and “tummy time” becomes a thing of the past, of the 1-child families.

room for 1 more!

I won’t worry about potty training on a schedule or how long he has the Nuk, although I do assume that with 2 big sisters he won’t want to be a “baby” for too long. Or maybe he will.

I won’t worry about when helpful relatives, or even strangers, shout out advice to me about anything and everything. I will understand this time that they’re just reliving their own lives, and not really trying to butt in, no matter how much like “butting” it seems. I’ll smile and say thanks.

But tell you what, I won’t be able to imagine the love that these three kids make me feel for them, and for the world. They make me more patient with road rage, and with idiots, and with people who hurt others, since they were so most likely hurt themselves. Once when someone was very rude to us, I got the girls into the van and said “Well, I’m sorry that lady was so rude, girls,” and Helena said “Well, mom, I bet she just had a really bad day.” So no matter how much gratitude I feel for what three kids does to us, I bet I’m not even close to as thankful as I will be.

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