month 7+ update/ “I’m taking my eggs with me”

by humanmama on May 2, 2012

Well, folks, I’m officially third trimester now. And all that. Some part of it gives me great hope that eventually I will be not pregnant anymore, which is definitely my favorite part of pregnancy. Seriously.

Some part of me is a little apprehensive about that third trimester, where you’re big and uncomfortable and time’s just tick-tick-ticking away until the time when you will never have time again, at least, not for a couple of years.

I can’t said I have loved being pregnant. (Duh, right?) Ever. I can say that I have been big, and tired, and throwing up, and with an IV in the Emergency Room, and filled with extra amniotic fluid, and having shooting back pains, and varicose veins, and some other quite lovely things, this past 3 pregnancies. I also miscarried once, between my two girls. I guess pregnancy makes me incredulous that no one in the history of the world has ever rebelled, taking hundreds of eggs with her, and said “I WILL NOT HAVE CHILDREN SIMPLY BECAUSE IT SUCKS TO BE PREGNANT!!” Well, I may have to be that person, I guess, but it’s after three kids, so I feel like I’m cheating.

I love the kids. There’s no replacing them. Also, I’ve always felt called to adopt someday, so maybe this won’t be the total end of our child-line, but probably. That said, it’s rough to be pregnant, if you’re me, and if you’re about every single other woman I’ve ever really spoken with, minus about 5 or 6 that said they “loved every minute.” I looked around the place, and I didn’t see any cameras, so I don’t think I was on Candid Camera or being Punk’d, I think they were actually serious, and maybe not even in the “I Loved being Pregnant, because my Kids are Awesome” way. I think they actually liked the feeling of being pregnant. But I assume that either these women are way, way better than me about having an alien life form kicking through your belly like Alien, or they weren’t yacking up breakfast, lunch, and dinner while getting migraines and varicose veins. Or, they just love the knowledge that I’m pregnant. Who knows?! Who can say?

I did not love it. But I take with me each day the feeling of “this is the last time” so that I can remember that when I’m feeling really bad. Or really tired. Or really down in the dumps. I remember that this is IT and I’ll never do this again, and then I say “Hello, Buddy,” to my belly, and watch as the skin jumps and dances with the kicking of this last child. And I try to enjoy that feeling, knowing this is it.

Yay! 10 weeks to go…watch out, world! I’m taking all the rest of my eggs with me!

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