month 4 status report: procrastination

by humanmama on January 31, 2012

I might never want to actually birth this child. As much as I want this pregnancy to be over, I am a list-maker, and I have one thousand things left to do.

When I was pregnant the last time, I was fully aware that I would have no time left, again, ever with which to do any household project, ever again. So on the list was get new carpet, paint all the bedrooms, refinish the hardwood floors–you name it, it was on there.

They all got done. Seriously! It was amazing, and the house looked great when that baby came.

This time? Well, its too late. I know I will have time again one day. I’ve lost all my urgency, all my crazy drive to finish! It is more relaxing, but I miss the fire. I’m a procrastinator. I put it off ’til the last moment. It’s not something I’m proud of, but in school when I had a term paper to write, you’d better believe that it would be awesome and well-written. Also that it would be written at midnight the day before it was due. And if I had a huge end-of-year project to turn in? Well, it was gorgeous. And it had been just recently birthed the day before, usually.

So this time I actually have the “Well, whatever, it’ll get done eventually” feeling, and that’s not good for me. It’s not comfortable. I kind-of liked that “OHMYGOSHIONLYHAVENINE/FIVE/THREEMONTHSLEFT!” feeling.

Well, it’s only month 4. Maybe that will come…

…Then again…

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