men would never get pregnant

by humanmama on January 25, 2012

As Buddha says, “this is temporary.”

I’ve said it once if I’ve said it a thousand times, if it were up to men, there would be no more human race. I’m not totally judging men here–it would actually be really smart if women started saying, “you know what? Pregnancy? Not for me.” But it doesn’t happen. Maybe it’s innate: some instinctual part of us that says, “keep this going.” But all I know is that it would only take one man to get pregnant to let the world know: “Hey, this is horrible. don’t do it.”

(*yes, I remember, there was a “man” who gave birth, but that man was first a woman, and so I believe that he actually had the selflessness before the testosterone.)

Maybe women are blessed with the gift of foresight. Maybe we can see the road ahead better than most men. Yes, this is a totally, totally stereotypical post, but I’m telling you, ask any man if they would really want to do 10 months of pregnancy (not to mention all the stuff before and after), and if they’re being honest, they’ll tell you, “nope.”

me on the last week of being pregnant the last time...

I’ve had some great times being pregnant. But I’ll say, as many of my friends have said before me, “the best part of being pregnant? Not being pregnant anymore.” In fact, that’s what I tell my veteran mom friends. It’s not “Soon you’ll have a BA-BYYYY!” anymore, like I used to say before I myself had kids. It’s “Hey, don’t worry! Soon you won’t be pregnant anymore.”

I know you’re out there, the women who love being pregnant. I know you’re reading thing now and thinking, maybe, “I did love it!” But I will only listen to you if you’ve had a baby in the last 5 years. After that, it’s not your fault! There’s an estrogen-based brain-erasing petrochemical that begins eating brain cells, leaving the treasured moments and destroying the memories of all the throwing up, all the nausea, all the bloating, stretch marks, itchiness, gassiness, and pain. All that you’re left with, if your youngest is 6 or 7 or 10, is the feeling that you love your kids so much, that it was all worth it. And it was. In 10 years, I’m sure I’ll be thinking the same thing.

But for now, I’m stuck thinking, “I wish I was a man….”

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Nita January 25, 2012 at 11:02 am

My “kids” are 24 and 22. I remember in excruciating detail each contraction, each push, each effort to get those boys to turn in utero. It was all done sans epidural – my choice. That said, I have never know love like I know for those young men, and the ‘gain’ far outweighs the ‘pain’. I would’ve done it again (with any pain relief offered!) but time wasn’t on my side.
Nice website!


aj January 25, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Thanks Nita!! Thanks for checking it out! :)


Jen January 25, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Hated being pregnant. Told the Hubs he needed to take a turn. He respectfully declined and admitted he was the weaker sex. He knows the score.
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aj January 25, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Ha, that’s so true. Either it’s true, or that’s what they say so they can still hold the remote at night. Oh well.:)


Scott January 25, 2012 at 7:08 pm

As a man, you’re absolutely right, there is no way we’d get pregnant. It’s amazing what you women go through. But I’ll tell, it makes me respect the hell out of my wife and other women.


aj January 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm

YAY! Thanks Scott…a little more fuel for my fire :) We love your respect!


Heather January 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Oh AJ i hated being pregnant!!! Not that I would chnage things for the world but it does get to you after the first time you would think that we would learn but no we just do it again. I do however think that if guys were to do anything that we go through once a month or once in a lifetime that they may turn the ideas about us around!!! The sleepless nights, the sweeling, the pain but all worth it when we hold that littl bundle of joy


aj January 27, 2012 at 7:57 am

….mostly worth it… :)


Kate @ zMOMbie January 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Just had Ellie in August. Can’t say I loved being pregnant. I loved the attention. I loved getting away with wearing jeans to work without anyone saying anything to me. But, otherwise it was NOT FUN.
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aj January 27, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Wha?! They let you wear JEANS to work? I should have really worked that angle :)


Kate @ zMOMbie January 27, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I think they were afraid to say anything to me. Hormones can be unpredictable… :)


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