keepin’ it real

by humanmama on February 20, 2013

It’s good to have kids in your life. Mostly because they’ll keep it real when no one else will. When your family ignores something really annoying about you? Your kids will point it out. Think those shoes are still in style? Nope–your kid will tell ya. Other people’s kids, too, so there’s really no hiding. Think no one else will notice those embarrassing love handles/chin hairs/ bathrobes you’ve been wearing at drop off in the morning? Well, it’s probably not the other parents, but someone is noticing.

We’ve had several incidents lately. “Mom, your belly? It’s still a little bit pregnant,” is a favorite of mine. Keepin’ it real, that’s all. What is there to say? “Um, well, yes, dear, it’ll stay that way for a while. In fact, why don’t you finish mommy’s cookie while I find some celery to munch?” (Wait–this actually might be a conspiracy for cookies. I’ll have to check into that.)

“Mom? Why did you BLONDE YOUR HAIR? I like it with those brown and white hairs instead.”

“Mommy? Can I answer the phone? I want to talk to ________________.” [Person leaving message on answering machine.] Hello, Papa/Mimi/Grammy/Auntie/Minka/friend of mom’s from high school or church/telemarketer? No, she can’t come to the phone, she’s on the POTTY RIGHT NOW.

Yep, truly it’s a lesson in humility, having a child. Just when you thought you already lost all your dignity at the hospital…

“Mommy? It’s okay to be a little bit fat. As long as you eat healthy.”

Yes, it is honey. Yes, it is. I’m glad you know that now: may you hold that in your heart forever.

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