just fine

by humanmama on August 6, 2013

I haven’t written much this summer, and although that’s something bloggers are advised never to mention (“Never apologize for not writing…just write!”), I’ll mention it. I haven’t. And I’ll tell you why: because things have been okay.

We write in the extreme times. Look through the pages of your middle school journal and you’ll remember: your parents fighting (lots of writing). Your first crush (lots of writing). You didn’t make the school play (lots of writing). Did you write on the ordinary days? Did you write when it was just…average? Probably not.

(In fact, I have a whole theory about Jesus and why there are so many years missing from the Bible. “Age 13-30: nothing much. Didn’t date much. No real jobs except dad’s carpentry apprentice. Unleavened bread, fatted calf, some manna here and there, etc. Sigh. Ummmmmmmmm. Blahhhhh… [doodles].)

Anyway, this summer has been fine. Fine. Nothing crazy. Carp’s been working all the time, I’ve been home. I’ve been missing work a little more than usual, and that’s probably because now with three children I have literally no free time ever. I had a tiny meltdown the other day to Carpenter about how my “free time” consists of going to the grocery store with JUST ONE child, or maybe having an extra couple of kids over to occupy the big girls while the baby sleeps. I miss free time. I know working isn’t easy, but I remember it well, and often I miss a place where someone is paid to listen to me. And does. Instead of here, where I tell the pediatrician “Don’t even bother on the hearing exams. It’s pretty clear they can’t hear me….”

But in all, things have been fine. Nothing too nuts, just fine. “Three kids?” It’s going just fine, I say. “Ready for school yet?” Nah, things are fine, I laugh. I want tumult, don’t get me wrong. I don’t usually like the status quo. It’s in me to want turmoil, to want change. But for now, I’ll limit my turmoil to painting the house, to weeding and mulching. This summer my days are basically just hanging out with the fam, overseeing the kids playing, trying to play with them more. The usual. So, it’s not turbulent, here, this summer, and really? That’s just fine with me.


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