impulse control

by humanmama on May 26, 2011

Ahh, being two. It’s a good age.

If you’re two.

If you’re the parent of a two-year-old, it’s a little rough. Because when you’re two, you have no filter. Everything’s just what you see, feel, or think. If you see a cookie, you might remember how much you love cookies, and then you might scream for even an hour about wanting a cookie. Or you might not. You might scream for ten minutes about the cookie, and then fifty minutes about nothing at all, simply because you’re two and you can’t really remember why you were mad, just the feeling of being mad. Probably at your mom.

Almost 5 isn’t much better as far as impulse control. Last weekend Carpenter was out of town and Helena just kept testing me. She even yelled “I hate you, too!” when I sent her upstairs after she hit her sister. I thought she was saying “I’ll hit you too” so I tried talking to her about it when she came back downstairs.

I said, “what did you say when you were going upstairs?” I was prepared to tell her that we don’t hit, and there might be times you should put your own almost-5-year-old self in time out so that you don’t actually hit people when you’re angry, and just take a break. I had it all planned out. But she said “Mommy, even if I say I hate you, I’ll really always love you.”

At first I was shocked that she had said “hate.” I thought about where she might have heard it–TV? Other people’s houses? I know we don’t say “hate” around here unless it’s “I hate when people are bigoted.” But then I realized her promise: even if I say I hate you, Mommy, I’ll really always love you.

And I said “Can I get that in writing for when you’re older?”

Moms have absolutely no control when their kids say “I love you.” We totally lose all resolve and any sort of lesson-teaching ability. Hear that kids?

Actually don’t tell them. They should never know they have that kind of power.

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Jessica May 26, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Yes, I would definitely get that in writing. Oh wait, you just did. Print out this post and have her write her name at the bottom. That’ll count later.

I freaked out when I heard SP say, “I hate you” a few weeks ago, which made him say it over and over and over and over… but later I realized that he didn’t know what it meant. He was saying “hit” and just morphing the word without realizing that “hate” actually meant something (until I made an interesting game).

Sigh. Parenthood. Where is the manual??

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