If you give a mom a cookie…

by humanmama on May 10, 2011

I needed to go to Costco, because I needed wipes diapers this week. And I’ve been putting it off. Why? Because every time I go to Costco, I feel like the mouse in the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff. In that book a little mouse wears out a little boy by constantly asking for things, very much like certain 2- and 4-year-olds I know. It reads;

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk. When you give him the milk, he’ll probably ask you for a straw. When he’s finished, he’ll ask you for a napkin. Then he’ll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn’t have a milk mustache.

The mouse then needs a haircut when he checks the mirror, and from there it’s a never-ending siege of other wants and needs. Pretty much exactly what a parent goes through on a daily basis with a child under 5 or 6.

And that’s what I ‘m like at Costco! It’s like this: I need to go in for diapers and wipes (which are supposedly sustainable there, since they’re made from Tencel). I get in the door but immediately the baby begins screaming for something to EEEEEAT! And so I grab a 10-pound case of trail mix. While we’re there in the snack aisle I remember I’ve always wanted 35 kilos of dried apple crisps so the kids could try them and have a healthy snack at the house, so those go in the cart too. And then the kids are thirsty of course, after the trail mix, so I need a case of VitaminWater. Then I am walking around Costco, not remembering exactly why we came there when it hits me: we need detergent! Which is near the 2-dozen-Rose-bouquets, which are gorgeous, so I get one too. The roses remind me of the pink coat Helena just grew out of so I meander over to the children’s clothing when I realize Costco is also selling Crocs shoes, so I get a pair for the whole family.

When I’ve gotten our Crocs on, I remember that we’ll need to walk a long way to the car, which needs an oil change, so I buy a case of motor oil, a case of chamois cloths, and a 3-gallon bottle of car wash, for after the oil change. And a 6-pack of giant carwashing sponges. Now we can all pitch in. On the way over to the sponges we taste-test the mini hot-dogs when I remember: Duh! We need ketchup! The 50-gallon plastic barrel won’t fit in the basket, so I grab a new wheedel-barrel (wheel barrow) to tote it all in.

We make our way to the checkout when I spy a really beautiful bunch of azalea bushes, at a super discount, so I throw three into the wheel barrow. And as I’m also dragging the cart around with the other hand, Lilly screams and points to a 20-pack of canned Tuna, which we could use for lunches, so I might as well grab them too. We checkout, the girls need a churro and footlong hotdog at the cafe, and then we make out way to the car.

As we’re nearing the car I smell something funny, so I check Lilly’s diaper, which is poopy. I lay her down in the back of the van and reach for the diaper bag. Which is empty. Since we’re out of diapers and wipes.

Which is why I came to Costco.

Now you see? If you give a mom a Costco Membership, chances are good that she’ll need a few working brain cells to go with it. Or, at least, a good shopping list.

 

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Twinmamateb May 10, 2011 at 3:25 pm

aint that the truth? LOL!

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Emily May 12, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Love this post! I think it is my favorite so far!

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Jessica June 4, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I was just thinking about a post based on these books (since they are SP’s current obsession) when I stumbled across this post. I don’t know how I missed it last month, but it is brilliant. And exactly what happens to me at Costco. Sigh.

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