I can’t get no/

by humanmama on December 4, 2011

Sometimes in life it is hard to feel satisfied. I struggle with it all the time. Like all the time. It’s in the middle of hugging my children or enjoying a family meal that I find myself thinking “I painted these walls 5 years ago” or “why is my furniture falling apart?” I think “I can’t believe we still haven’t put in a new bathroom and we’ve lived here for 7 years,” and I think “I need a change.”

Sometimes I think this is the curse of women: excellent multitaskers, but incredibly poor attention span in a low-stress environment. If it were up to Carpenter, we’d still be eating with spoons out of whatever pot we cooked dinner in (why get a paper plate all dirty? Then you’d just have to throw it away!), and we’d probably be reconfiguring the milk-crate furniture now and then, but that’s about it.

(Not all women are like this, but I know a lot more women than men who aren’t satisfied unless there’s a ton going on. How else can I explain adopting a dog when I was pregnant with my second child? Carpenter texted me “there better not be a dog at home when I get there,” but there was, it was too late. And she’s the best! And just one more thing to do around here.)

Carpenter would be content if nothing changed. If meals were semi-edible. There would be no Christmas tree–too much work. Or maybe the tree would be up, but it would be barren–no ornaments, no lights. That’s where I come in. He does the base, I take care of all the trimmings. With the tree. And with life.

Take it from me, mom. Learn to enjoy.

It’s okay. It reminds me that he is satisfied as long as he has a nap and things are more-or-less clean (in Pittsburgh we say “Redd up” as in not deep-cleaned but put away). Actually he probably wouldn’t notice if it were clean, as long as he has underwear and work clothes. It’s me who’s never satisfied. It’s good at times–it makes me work hard and keeps our house pretty nice. But it’s bad too–it takes an incredible amount of energy for me to just relax, and have fun. And not stress. And not think about the future.

Opposites attract. And if your opposite can help you get a little satisfaction, that’s a great thing. (I mean in life, that is. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

(Well, actually, in both.)

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

holly December 4, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Carpenter and I have the same outlook. A wise episode of Sex and the City once told me “The secret to having it all is to stop expecting it to look the way you thought it would”. Not bad advice and even applies to an old bathroom :)

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aj December 5, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Ohh, life advice from SATC. I love it. I still watch reruns.

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Kristen December 5, 2011 at 10:45 am

Yet another way we lead parallel lives across the road from each other. Let’s plan a night out and “relax”…in other words, talk about all the things we should be doing while enjoying a nice glass of wine. :0)

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aj December 5, 2011 at 9:13 pm

I’d love to enjoy time away AND alcohol with you. Who will watch these kids? Anyone?! :)

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