getting around to it

by humanmama on November 3, 2006


Well, I’ve finally begun a blog, which both my mom and my dad (divorced) agree upon…and when they agree on something you can bet it’s a good idea. Except for George W. (Sorry, mom and dad.) Anyway, they wanted me to write about being a mommy. A little background: I am the proud mommy of Helena Rose, lovely 15-pound (or so) five-(5!)-month-old baby girl. She’s amazing and wonderful and of course all the other things that people say about babies, and she’s mine. And Ben’s, of course…that’s her daddy.

Since I was laid off of work 3 days after my return (is that illegal?) I am staying at home. I probably would have chosen to stay at home anyway, so it worked out. And it’s quite fabulous to be privy to those sweet wake-up-smiles when Helena first gets up (7am-ish) or to that first-whatever (smile, laugh, crawl). But I’ve been telling stories lately about the other time in her life…the first three months.

The first three months deserved to be bold-typed, because they were tough. Yes, I was sleep-deprived, yes, she didn’t interact much or even do much but fuss, eat, sleep, go potty in her diaper, need to be changed, etc. But the very hardest thing was how everyone else seemed to be in love with the idea that this was “the best time in [my] life” and how much I should enjoy it. I can’t count the number of times that folks chided me to “not let this time get away” from me! It was so precious! Or the phrase “I bet you can’t even imagine your life without her!”

People, please.

I love this baby. She’s really fabulous, and of course like all other mommies I truly believe that she’s the best ever and smart and lovely not to mention totally gorgeous, and probably will be witty, when she can talk. BUT the best time of my life?

Never again will I say to a new mom “isn’t it the best?? Don’t you just love her more than you ever thought possible??!” Because while that is absolutely true of my 5-month-old, at 2-months or so I was thinking, “um…well…”–not that I didn’t love her of course. But did I? CAN you really love someone whose main goal in life is to sleep (but not at the same time as her parents, you understand)? The phrase “Can you even imagine your life without her anymore?” made me constantly think, uh, yes, it seems that only two months ago I was sleeping soundly and through the night. (Although pregnant women out there know that you’re actually not sleeping for the last 2 months either).

So it’s Halloween this last weekend, Helena and daddy went trick-or-treating (she was a zebra!) and I can definitely say with a vengeance now–I LOVE HER! She’s so AMAZING! I Can’t Imagine My Life Without Her! But it took me a while. And do I think that makes me a bad mom? No, I think that makes me pretty normal. I just wanted to get it out there for those moms who are thinking “Oh crap, this isn’t making my life complete!” Don’t worry…it will come. For now, keep nursing (or bottling!) and sleeping when they sleep. One day they’ll wake up, give you that sleepy morning smile, and you’ll think, wow…this is, like, the best time of my life.

Post to Twitter

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

bhc November 7, 2006 at 6:45 pm

YOU are the bomb.

I love you and your daughter.

Reply

Jessica October 8, 2009 at 12:54 pm

I know you wrote this a long time ago now (just reading old posts since I didn't know you had a blog until today), but I just have to say Hallelujah! I got SO FREAKING TIRED of hearing people tell me to "enjoy every moment" when my son was born. He was tough, as I commented on another post, and it was absolutely impossible to enjoy every moment. Now he is a toddler, complete with toddler battles as you know from Helena, so it's still impossible to enjoy every moment, but I love almost all of them, and it's true that after the first few months I couldn't imagine life without him. But more understanding for new moms is definitely in order, especially for those of us who don't have the easy baby first! :-)

Reply

Next post: