friends and family plan

by humanmama on June 11, 2012

Carpenter and I have been graced by a fantastic neighborhood. We love our neighbors. They’re a bit like family, all quirky and funny and things can just pick up where they left off the last time.

The difference between neighborhood gathering and Family Gatherings is palpable, though. I’m not even sure what it is, exactly, but something that makes you related to folks can also make the things they do unbearable and the comments they make tasteless or worse. Why is that? When our neighbors say something tasteless or irritating it’s hilarious. When our family members do, we’re all up in arms. (Not me, though. I’m pretty easy going. Right kids?)

Hmm.

"Is it just me, or are our parents TOTALLY nuts?!" "Oh, totally."

Thoughts? Anyone? Because as my kids get older, I’d love to have a great relationship with them. In fact, I’d love to have a neighborly relationship with them. Because I’d love for them to love seeing us and have a great time around us, but not feel burdened by us as we age, or by our crazy issues that will never change. I’d love for them to think, “Oh, mom and dad, they’re so much fun to be around, we love them!” And, preferably not, “Oh, mom and dad, I wish they’d just leave us alone for heaven’s sake!” [Here I picture a son- or daughter-in-law gritting their teeth and muttering “what is wrong with your mother, anyway??!” Nope–that’s not what I want. I don’t want the Norman Rockwell painting, but I don’t want the Roseanne show, either. I just want some love and respect, and to not be a drain on our kids, or they on us, as we all grow older.

So how can we do it? How can we manage to have that great, loving, fun relationship that we have with our kids as little children all the way into adulthood? Or better yet, bring some of that neighborly good feeling into the family? I don’t mind my kids rolling their eyes at us in the future (in fact, I plan on it), but I don’t want it to be accompanied by “Mom is so nuts I cannot even talk to her anymore.”

Any ideas? Maybe the key is being rich. I always say I won’t want my kids saying how crazy we’ve become when they’re adults. I want them saying to their adult friends “Hmm. Crazy? I don’t know–sis, when’s the last time you’ve spoken to our parents? Are they still in Europe?” “No–Fiji, I think.”

Yep, I bet that’s is. Absence makes the kids grow fonder. Now [rubbing hands together], where to find me some money?!

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

love this August 28, 2012 at 7:33 am

Hey sweet heart from a girlyreader keep up the fab work

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