friend purge

by humanmama on March 25, 2012


I am having a baby in four months. Actually, three months, plus a couple of weeks. And I am acutely aware of that every day. There are so many things I need and that I need to do and I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around them all because BEFORE I KNOW IT I WILL HAVE 3 KIDS AND NO MORE TIME AT ALL!

And I already don’t have any time!

Geez. A lot of the people I know with three and more kids says: “heh heh, two kids? You think two kids is tough? Wait until ol’ number three gets here. You’ll be sorry then!” (I just wrote about this, and usually people are nicer to me than to Carpenter, but still. Warnings abound.)

Crap, upon reading that I just realized I might need all new friends. Now accepting applications. Seriously! What kind of thing is that to say to a person? A parent? Wait–what kind of thing is that to say to a woman who is already irreversibly pregnant with her third child??!!?

Yeah, I know. It’ll be harder. In fact, when I had only one child I would go to the grocery store and think, dear heavens, there used to be times when I didn’t have any child to drag around. My back would hurt, she wouldn’t fit in the cart, or even she’d throw a fit in the cart, and I’d be stuck thinking about the pre-children days when I could just jauntily run into the store for a second for something.

Then came two children. And it was so much worse, trying to get out, trying to get places, that I would always be imagining life pre-2: “Oh dear, life was so easy with just one child attached to me at one time.” If I have just one with me I think “ahhh, this is so nice. Just one person to worry about. What a nice break.”

And now I’m having a third child. So, if you want to be my friend still, hear this: I need your help. Be encouraging. Tell me it won’t be so tough. Lie if you have to.

Basically, if you’re not with us, you’re against us. Please, please: be with us. Help me. I’ll need you soon.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Jess March 25, 2012 at 9:59 pm

If *I* can handle two 3 yr olds, you can handle 3 kids. You are way better at this than I am!


aj March 25, 2012 at 11:18 pm

That is NOT true! But…I will take whatever I can get at the moment :-) thanks for the kind words, J!


Jessica@Team Rasler March 26, 2012 at 10:04 am

I thought about this when you posted about what people had been saying to the two of you. My immediate reaction was, “Why, why, WHY do parents seem to always feel this need to tell parents a little ways behind them on the parenting path to ‘just wait'”??? It’s just rude and unhelpful. It’s very high on my What Not to Say list. Anyway, I’m totally with you, and I know that someday when I finally have a third child, at least I’ll know you’re with me, too.
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M-I-L March 27, 2012 at 9:09 pm

You are the greatest mother I know. You are kind & generous woman. AJ, when I am not there physically with you, you are in my everyday thoughts & prayers. Three children is a blessing to you & your husband. Both of you love each other sooo very much and that reflects on the whole family. I am on your side and this is the first time I read this blog. You are doing a wonderful job for the future of all generations.


aj March 29, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Thank you so much! You are a blessing in our lives :)


Rebecca April 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Three kids is easier–If you can handle 2, you can handle 3. After all, they get more independent as they grow. Just remember it is not as bad as you remember:)

PS-just had my 4th. Sera was born in March!


aj April 9, 2012 at 8:34 pm

You’re an amazing woman, Becca!! I’m so happy you tried again…I’m sure you’re all so happy :)


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