everybody’s a cynic

by humanmama on October 28, 2011

A while ago, my dad visited us in Pittsburgh. And he said,

“Are you okay?”

I said, yes, why? I thought I was okay, and he said something along the lines of “you used to be funny with an edge, but now you’re mostly edge.” I took that to mean I was sounding more cynical in my old, old age.

Now, I did explain to him that I was a stay-at-home mom with only one small income of my own watching someone else’s kids two times a week. And the rest of the time I am at home with the kids, usually by myself, managing the entire household and doing the bills, mowing the lawn, and folding TONS UPON TONS OF LAUNDRY EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY. So yes, I might not be as happy-go-lucky as I once was, when I was say, sixteen. Or maybe eleven.

He understood, but it got me thinking that I have changed. And it worried me, somewhat. Have I lost a part of myself? A part that was once happy and joyful, instead of snarky and cynical and sarcastic? Is that all I am now? I thought long and hard. And I came to an answer:

Yes.

I have been changed by being a mother. I’m a lot, lot wiser. I always thought I was pretty savvy, but being a mom has made me acutely aware that I am not. I am getting there day by day, but I have a looooong way to go. Remember that phrase “Quick! Elect your child president while he still has all the answers!”?? Yeah, that was me. And it was probably you, too, if you admit it.

snarky, but funny too.

I like to think I’m still funny. But not anymore in a court-jestery way. And not in any way to make people like me.

I’m funny now because I know what other folks have been through–are going through–and I know that there’s only one thing that will make us all feel better. And that’s laughing about it, so get your mind out of the gutter.

Okay, maybe there are some hard drugs that would also make us all feel better. But that would be only temporary.

See?! Cynical, but funny. And I know you love it, too.

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