conservative Halloween

by humanmama on October 23, 2012

I am not really conservative, by nature. I’m outgoing, a little inappropriate, and sometimes say what I think–even when no one wants to hear it. (*Especially then.) When I think “conservative,” I think of making my own clothes, which would be a floor-length skirt, and not doing my hair again, ever. (Which is fine, if you like that.) But nothing brings out the conservative in me like Halloween–that is, Halloween after having had children.

Before I had children I liked Halloween, fine enough. It’s fun and exciting to get dressed up, to be someone else for a night. Also as a kid we were raised pretty much in the church that my parents helped found, and so we really didn’t “do” Halloween. We mostly went to Harvest Festivals at one church or another, and before you say “eww!” it actually was fun, so there. Trick-or-treating is a little overrated, but now that I have kids it is a really, really fun way to spend a weeknight, so that’s what we do on Halloween.

So even though I myself have been dressed up on Halloween, as recently as 5 years ago, since we have children, especially girls, it’s taken on a new meaning. Example: when googling “bug costumes” for an idea about how to make Helena’s ladybug (her idea) costume, this is the image I stumbled upon:

Uhh, no. Young girls and old “girls” wearing bustiers with stripes and polka dots does not a bug make. So I kept on. And I found this:

OKAY! Okay! I get it! So I changed my search to “children’s ladybug costume” and still, I got short dresses with tiny tutu’s and knee-high boots or even black fishnets, in one case. And thinking of dressing my kids in fishnets and strapless bustiers is enough to drive me into conservatism. When I was in middle school, granted perhaps too old to trick-or-treat, I was a bride. I used a dress hanging in my hall closet (who knows whose that was…sorry, grandma…), and voila! Bride! I didn’t use a tiny tutu with thigh-high white legwarmers and a thong. In fact, I’m not sure thongs were mainstream back then. -Sigh.- Somewhere in the background, Dylan sings “The times, they are a-chaaaangin’.”

So, call me conservative. But then again, you can also call me smart. Because you can bet it won’t my my child out there in the cold, shivering in fishnets on Halloween night. Nope. Mine will be the ladybug. With the sweatsuit underneath.

Look! You can be cute, and fun, and not even remotely slutty. AND comfortable.

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dad October 29, 2012 at 9:41 pm

AMEN!

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