boring stories

by humanmama on August 23, 2013

There are two kinds of people in this world: the people who tell the truth and the people who tell the story. I am sure you can guess which category I fall into, which of course makes Carpenter naturally lie on the exact opposite end of the scale. I can make a 4-minute story last 23 minutes, while he of course can cut most of my best stories down into a 2-minute summary. This used to make me no end of angry, but now I have often come to rely on his sense of timing to move me along (especially handy when talking to strangers. I do tend to go on. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed).

However handy and “normal” his conversational skills seem, and no matter what you say, I still stick by my original claim that they are boring. I know, I know, it’s fast to tell the truth. But it’s also decidedly un-creative. For example, a few years ago a guy fell down a hole at one of the Carp’s job sites. Here’s how he told the story:
“A guy fell down a hole today.”

Here’s me: “WHAT?!? Where? How? What happened?! Is he okay?!?”
Carp: “yeah, he’s ok.” (Silent but deafening noise of me reeling.) “…What??”
Me: “Um, that’s it? That’s the whole story?”
Carp: “Um, yeah. I think so?”

See now, I could have told that story for minutes. Hours, even. And people would listen and be totally enthralled. At least the first time. (That’s the thing about being verbose, you really have to watch who you tell stories to, since when one elaborates one might tend to also exaggerate.)

I could even tell that story better. And I wasn’t even there. My kids would begin asking for it nightly. It would be long, but basically it would look something like this, if it was bound. And believe me, it might be exhausting to be my family, but it’s never boring.




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