bad mommy

by humanmama on May 21, 2011

Carpenter is out of town all weekend. And it’s an absolutely crazy weekend, too, of course: Helena had her first soccer game where there’s exactly 60 parking spaces, 500 parents and grandparents with separate cars, and one million children swirling about aware of only one rule: run. That was Friday, Ben left Thursday, and I pulled my back Friday morning, so  I was lamely trying to keep Lilly from killing herself by walking out onto the field or getting stuck in the mud pit which surrounded the field while not picking her up and hurting my back nor letting her sit down in the mud. Also Carpenter is the assistant coach but since he is gone this weekend there was only one coach so I lamely tried to cheer on the kids and offer up strategy to the 4- and 5-year olds: “Um, yay Billy! Run the other way! No, our goal’s that way! Okay, kids, THAT WAY!! Lilly, where are you??!” Bad mommy.

Also about 4 times a day one of the children is crying for Carpenter: “I miss my daaddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

Then it was today, which started well and then ended with me putting Lilly in bed 2o minutes early and thinking “I don’t care if you cry yourself hoarse, as long as I can’t hear you anymore.” See? Bad mommy thinks that. Actually that shouldn’t be in quotes, since I would never say something so mean. Not out loud. It should really be in one of those thought balloons with bubbles connecting it to my head, like you see in comic strips.

My friend Jess, who writes a great mommy blog too, was mentioning “Bad Mommy” to her son. And I think I’d like to start a story about “Bad Mommy” to my kids–a mom who would be way worse than I. Also possibly meaner. Like in that kids’ book Miss Nelson is Missing where a really nice teacher who has a terrible whiny classroom full of naughty children. She decides to go away and get a “substitute teacher” who is really herself, dressed basically as a witch, and who is horribly mean. Obviously you can see where the book is headed–the kids are really good for the witch but miss Miss Nelson so much that they behave superbly when she returns.


I wonder where I can get myself a witch costume?

Anyway, here’s the kicker: I finally got both kids into bed, and cleaned up from dinner and went outside to mow the lawn before it got too dark. And every 5 minutes I could hear Helena knocking on her window. But I ignored her for 45 minutes since I needed to get the lawn done and she should have been asleep anyway. I figured if I ignored her, she’d eventually bore herself to sleep.

When I couldn’t see to mow anymore I put the lawnmower away, came inside, ignored her yells of “MA!” and got myself a drink of water.  Then I finally made my way upstairs to see why on earth she was not asleep yet.

“Mommy, I’m stuck in my bed.” She had stuck her feet between the bed and the wall, so she was pinned against the wall in a standing position. I moved the bed and she got out and crawled under her covers.

“How long have you been stuck?” I asked. “Since you started mowing,” she said.

Okay, maybe I don’t need a costume. Tonight I was the Bad Mommy.

That’s probably why I didn’t get Raptured today. Oh well, tomorrow’s another day. Happy Weekend!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Jessica May 24, 2011 at 12:58 am

Oh man, we’ve all been there! I need to get myself a costume… You are most definitely the Good Mommy most of the time (or the Real Mommy as SP would say).

Thanks for the shout-out. :-)


leigh May 24, 2011 at 9:30 am

Ok, I must admit I just started reading your blog and I am hooked! So well written, so relatable and well, just so entertaining. You are an amazing mommy AJ.


aj May 24, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Thanks Leigh!!!


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