alcohol and shopping

by humanmama on May 6, 2013

I’m not really that into wine. I’ll drink it, but just a glass or two gets me totally exhausted and three leaves me feelin’ pretttty craaaazy. Shopping, too, isn’t really my thing. I know a lot of moms who go crazy for shopping, but me? Well…I could really go nuts at Home Depot. But still, I get it. I get why people–women especially–love alcohol and shopping. They’re the last legal mom drugs.

Moms (the reason I don’t count stay-at-home dads in here is because I know for certain that they have a gift. A gift for tuning out at times) are on. All the time. Every single second of the day. And maybe not all moms, but like 98% of moms. If they work, they come home, do dinner, help with homework, drive to events, give baths, plan playdates, get kids to bed, clean house, do laundry, etc. And stay at home moms have the same amount of work, maybe a littttle more, because when they clean it gets dirty immediately and it’s sort-of like what they do to prisoners to break them. Do the same thing over, and over, and overandoverandover without any progress until you’re positively mad.

Dads have it rough. Sometimes really rough. Work, or stay home, chores, etc. but it seems most dads I know can turn it off when they need to, and most moms I know can never turn it off. No, they’re on every single second.

Enter: wine and shopping, stage left.

The thing about alcohol and shopping is that they both let you escape, and it’s not something moms get to do very often. Unless, of course, they have a serious addiction (see another post for that one). Shopping lets you imagine–you’re a different person with a different shirt! Or sheets! Or towels! Or yard equipment! (Okay, that’s me.) Shopping lets you try on shoes that the average person would be crazy to buy, and dresses that you’ll probably never wear! Also, we can buy makeup, jewelry, etc. that helps us remember we’re not just moms, but also people who can be dressier, more beautiful. Even shopping at REI gives moms something: the feeling that I’m in shape! Or, I’m outdoorsy! When the rest of the time, we’re inside-y. And maybe not in that great shape.

So at first, as a mom, I didn’t understand alcohol and shopping. But now I know it’s an escape. A legal one. A safe one (don’t drink and drive!). And one that won’t kill ya. At least, not in moderation. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go pour myself a glass of wine and check Craigslist. Again.

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