2012 and the end of the world

by humanmama on January 8, 2012

If the Mayan Calendar is correct, so conspiracy theorists say, something happens on the Winter Solstice of this year, 2012 AD. The calendar runs out! So, does that mean that the world will end?

According to the week I’ve been having, it does. The world will most likely end on December 21, 2012. For the following reasons:

I am the worst pregnant person ever. Well, actually, I’ve been reading a lot of mommy blogs out there and it seems that many of us are “the worst pregnant [women] ever.” What that means to me is that a lot of people were actually lying before about loving pregnancy, and it really is mostly horrible for many people. Extreme fatigue, nausea, sometimes vomiting, migraines, bloating/swelling of extremities, diarrhea, constipation, stretch marks, skin that will never be the same, body that will never be the same–and that’s just this morning! (Sorry, too much?)Anyway, for the first pregnancy I threw up a million times a day every day, and for this one it seems like only migraines and ongoing nausea/seasickness to accompany every minute of every day.

I am also an extremely unlucky person. I mean, in the lottery, and raffles, and the like. (I’m very lucky in family and friends, that is.) But I never win anything, even if it’s just me and one other person who put their tickets into the basket to win, that other person will win every time. So, add this to being a terrible pregnant person, and what it means is that YES! OF COURSE the world will end in 2012! Since I’ll be spending most of the year throwing up and feeling terrible, then getting major surgery, then nursing, and not sleeping, I am sure that this will be my last year on earth.

Okay, it may not be. But actually, to make myself feel better about feeling horrible, I spend most of December telling myself “this time next year? I’ll be pretty much getting back to normal again.” The baby’s due in July, so in December we’ll be around 5 months, getting (hopefully) on some sort of schedule, not eating as much, not going as crazy.

That is, until December 21. Oh well–that’s the shortest day of the year anyway, and we’ll probably be inside the whole day. So, we’ll make Christmas cookies and look forward to the fireworks, or the reverse of the Earth’s gravitational pull, or whatever happens. With my luck, I’ll be all prepared with gallons of water and cases of canned beans in the basement, and nothing will happen anyway.

Chili cookoff, January 2013, anyone?

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