August 2011

hot sauce

August 31, 2011

I get so annoyed sometimes. The kids drive me crazy. They hit each other, they yell at nothing, they put their hands covered in chilli right on my shirt. They don’t want to go to bed, even the “good sleeper” any more, and they pour water from their sippy cups all over their stuffed animals […]

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First Day of Panic Attacks

August 29, 2011

  First day of school is here and I’m TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, ahem, let me start over. Actually, it’s not even the first day of school yet. It’s the day of our kindergarten interview where the teachers meet our kids, individually, for fifteen minutes. And I’m STILL freaked out. We already did it and […]

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business report

August 28, 2011

I’m not entirely sure, but some of you might remember that when I was in high school, I would always say “I want to be famous” when someone asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I think I told the guidance counselor that. Nowadays, that is not unusual: every kid wants to […]

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morning people

August 25, 2011

I hate the morning. Or, rather, I hate myself in the morning. I have always wanted to be a morning person. Good friends, even Carpenter, all speak of that great feeling they get when no one’s awake yet, sneaking around, having that first morning’s coffee without kids. My neighbor said that the other day she […]

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death (Ask AJ #5 follow up)

August 24, 2011

I heard from two people who lost a child since I wrote about God. Let me tell you, if I lost a child–to death, that is–you can sure as hell bet that I would be seeing that child again. In heaven, or anywhere, really, someplace where I could hold that child, where he or she […]

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nursing like a cow

August 23, 2011

Well, tonight, while reading Little House on the Prairie (that superslutty book), I realized that more needed to be said about milking cows. Helena insisted that the cow Pa brought home with it’s calf was a daddy cow. I said, “No, honey, that’s a mommy cow.” She said, bluntly and with the slightest bit of […]

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happy Monday

August 22, 2011

Hello! I haven’t done “Happy Happy Monday” in a long time. So here you go. What makes you happy on this Monday? I know it must be something. Go ‘head, think of something. I’ll wait. Want some inspiration? I’ll give you a short list: Invisible fencing. Makes my dog happy and me happy. And no […]

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cheesecake is god’s breakfast

August 19, 2011

My sister’s baby shower is this weekend, and I was hoping to make something lovely and amazing for it. So I looked, and I looked, and all I could come up with was “Cheesecake.” That’s what my soul kept whispering. “CHEESEcake.” So I looked for a recipe. I’ve never made cheesecake before, but I have […]

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Got a question for me?

August 19, 2011

If you need to post a question to Ask AJ (and chances are good that you do), here’s what to do. Remember: all opinions (plus a little research) are my own! ONE: Send me an email at humanmamaAJ (at) gmail (dot) com telling me what you wanna know. TWO: Post a comment below. If you […]

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what did you say?

August 17, 2011

As my sister’s due date approaches I keep thinking of that time when I was just pregnant, no kids. Someone describes that family as a “DINK”–double income, no kids. Ahh, what a time. I was able to pay to fly my mother into town for a weekend when I had no kids. And once my […]

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