sleeping like a baby… again

by humanmama on May 20, 2015

I haven’t been writing. I can’t write right now. I want to so badly, but I have about 20 brain cells left and they’re all keeping my heart and lungs going. I seriously think this baby (number FOUR if anyone forgot) is working up to be our worst sleeper. It’s no fair, really, since we have three other kids. Crappy sleepers are SO three kids ago! But #2 slept amazing and #3 slept pretty much like all babies. So sadly, little Elliott is looking like the worst one so far, at least to this age. Or, like our first, which was “sleeps unless she’s hungry, which is 2-4 times per night.” It’s gotten so bad, we’ve even had friends and family say helpful things like “You should do what I did: I just put ____ down and eventually he fell asleep!” or, our favorite, “it won’t hurt the baby to let him cry a little.” Well, just in case you’re wondering, our kids are incredibly strong (-willed) and just like his oldest sister, Elliott can cry at the screaming-top of his lungs for a whole hour. For as long as it takes even a seasoned mom of four kids to think, “okay, someone is about to call child services and report me.” For as long as it takes her to think “I wonder if they can hear him crying? Maybe no one has to even call? Maybe they’ll just show up?”

If you were wondering why you haven’t heard from me in, like, a year? This is why.

If you’re not in agreement that he’s old enough to “cry it out,” I will just say that he is now 5 months old, and that means I haven’t slept more than 3-hours in a row for more than five months. Five months. F-I-V-E M-O-N-T-H-S. Say it and just let it roll around in your mouth. And Carpenter? He’s probably slept mostly 6-hours in a row, more or less, unless I remember to hit him in the ribs with my elbow because I’m just too damn tired to get up once more. And then it takes me waking the Carp up like 3 times for him to say “okay let me get him a bottle…” (snore) and then maybe one more time, which means by now I’m awake as I can be but still know that if I get up once more I might not make it through the night without doing something drastic, like booking an online flight to Hawaii on my phone. One-way, of course.

Of course, the Carp has untreated sleep apnea, so when I’m feeling forgiving I just figure this is how he feels all the time, despite sleeping 2x as much as me.

I should actually post a photo of what he’s doing right now. He’s on the phone with our (our company’s) electrician, saying things like “but what if they forget to turn off the downstairs lights, do we want to give them a switch at the top of the stairs too?” I just want you to know that if you use our company for your remodel or whatever, he’ll be worrying about your house at 10:15pm on a weekday. And also at 5:30am. He’s pretty dedicated. Which makes me remember to love him at 2:12am. It’s always 2:12am in my life.

Speaking of which! It’s after 10pm and all my kids are asleep. What the hell am I doing still awake? Blogging?! Blogging, my friends, is for the well-rested. Or, at least, the partially-rested.

Miss you. Until we meet again. (Until I sleep again…)

My Mommy sees this:

But no one believes her because they only see this:

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